Jumping from Helicopters

 Book 106 of my 2023 Reading Challenge

read from November 11 - 16

Jumping from Helicopters: A Vietnam Memoir

by John Stillman

Summary (via Goodreads)

In 1967, at age nineteen, John Stillman—refusing to wait for the draft—voluntarily enlisted in the Army to aid his fellow countrymen in one of the most opposed involvements in our nation’s the Vietnam War. Quickly falling in love with the rush of being a paratrooper with the 101st Airborne, he believed his service would honorably help the South Vietnamese protect their country from the ruthless communist North and their Southern allies. But once in the volatile jungles of Vietnam, the merciless hunting and killing of the enemy, constant threat of landmines and booby traps, ambushes that could easily backfire, and deaths of his comrades made Stillman question how any man—if he survived—could ever return to his life as he’d known it. 

Written with John’s daughter, Lori Stillman, Jumping from Helicopters is a vivid and moving memoir that unearths fifty years of repressed memories with stunning accuracy and raw details. Interwoven with the author’s own journal entries and including thirty-five photographs, it is a story that will open your eyes to what these brave young men witnessed and endured, and why they returned facing a lifetime of often unspoken unrest, persistent nightmares, and forced normalcy, haunting even the strongest of soldiers.

My Opinion

5 stars

This book was unexpectedly personal for me.  I chose it on a whim from Prime Reading because I still needed a 'J' nonfiction book for the year and this looked interesting.  

I ended up getting so much out of this read.  At first I thought starting this the evening of Veteran's Day with my eyes still sore from crying on and off throughout the day might be too much but it turned out to be just what I needed.

In a serendipitous coincidence the author of this book was in the exact same area in the same year as my dad (and they were both Army) so it brought me both comfort and sadness to read descriptions of things he may have also experienced.

My dad was seriously injured 9/11/68 in the Quang Tri area and he was affected physically and mentally for life.  I knew the basics but we never really talked about it.  I would go with him to the VFW and his service was important to him but we didn't talk specifics.  We talked about visiting the Traveling Wall; when it was in our area he started to walk toward it before turning around because he couldn't do it.  When I visited the Wall in D.C. with my husband and kids we did rubbings of those who died in the same battle he was injured in; he appreciated the sentiment and was glad we honored them but didn't want to see them.  He died in 2019 (hence why I'd cried so much already - he's buried in our local Veteran's Cemetery) but I would've loved to share this book with him and think it's amazing the author and his daughter were able to process his experiences together.

Beyond my personal emotions and about the actual book...

The author was matter-of-fact about killing the enemy which can be startling but it wasn't disrespectful.  There were subtle shifts as the book goes on - he didn't enter the Army with bloodthirst but also wanted the enemy to be eradicated so he could go home.  He made good points about there being no adjustment period or debriefing to re-enter civilian life.  And what an awful joke for his dad to play on him at his "Welcome Home" party!!!

I never knew they were called "Charlie" as a shortening of the military alphabet for VC (Victor Charlie).

Quote from the Book

"I was home a long time before I was actually home. 

Vietnam has never ceased to haunt me every day, to await me every night. 

I still sometimes wonder if I ever truly came home."