read from January 04 - 06
I Just Want to Pee Alone: A Collection of Humorous Essays by Kick Ass Mom Bloggers
Summary (via Goodreads)
Motherhood is the toughest - and funniest - job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful - you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? "I just want to pee alone!"
I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web.
There isn't much to say about this book, everyone should have a pretty clear idea of what they're getting based on the description. It was a light read that came along with perfect timing; it was given to me for Christmas and I read it while attempting to put my house back together after the kids returned to school after the holiday break.
It's a pet peeve of mine when bloggers write books and basically charge for a regurgitation of what I could've read for free on the Internet so I'm happy to report that that is NOT the case with this book. I don't read most of these blogs but the essays included by the bloggers I do follow were new, which was very nice and well-appreciated.
A few things I noted:
- When Patti Ford said her experience giving birth could be summed up in seven words, "My hospital room had to be repainted", and left it to the reader's imagination as to how that would even happen...wow. I'm horrified yet intrigued.
- "If I have learned one thing in my motherhood journey thus far, it is this: There is no greater awkwardness in all the world than standing idly by as your mother-in-law compares the vaginal lubricant that you use with her son to the one she uses herself, trying to determine which one will work better on your five-year-old's rear end" (from the essay by Stephanie Giese) is a pretty spectacular out-of-context quote.
- "Because I'm the Vagina Boss, That's Why" (by Brenna Jennings) wins best essay title.
A Few Quotes from the Book
"Sometimes it's just best not to be home alone with a child who was seemingly sent to this earth for the sole purpose of finding your breaking point. Every now and again you honestly need the prying eyes of the public so that you don't duct tape your spawn to the ceiling fan, in the hopes that it "gently" lulls them to sleep." ~ Patti Ford
"Here's another thing to keep in mind...every other girl at the table went through something very similar to get out of the house for this little get together so they aren't going to notice any imperfections, because they are too worried about their own appearance to even care." ~ Andrea
"When you start to feel like you have failed, like you have completely messed up as a parent, take a long look at that little human that you made. YOU made a person. While the road to get there may have been rough, and at times even unbearable, YOU made a PERSON." ~ Tara
"So just indulge me for a minute. It has been a long week. (Wait, it's Monday? WTF?) ~ Kim Forde