Not That Bad

Book 8 of my 2019 Reading Challenge

read from January 12 - 18

Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture

Edited by Roxane Gay

Summary (via the book jacket)

published in 2018

In this valuable and timely anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay has collected original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face, and where they are "routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, and bulled" for speaking out.

Highlighting the stories of well-known actors, writers, and experts, as well as new voices being published for the first time, Not That Bad covers a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation and street harassment.

Often deeply personal and always unflinchingly honest, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that "not that bad" must no longer be good enough.

My Opinion

5 stars

This isn't something I will be critiquing or giving individual notes on because all of the essays are so personal and varied.  The book doesn't feel exploitative - they (mostly women but a few men too) are telling their stories on their terms.

This passage from "To Get Out From Under It" by Stacey May Fowler sums it up for me:

   "There is this impossible paradox when you are victimized by sexual assault. You want to - you have to - convince yourself that it wasn't "that bad" in order to have any hope of healing. If it really is as bad as you feel like it is, how will you ever get out from under it? How will you ever get "better"?

   On the other hand, you need to convince others it was "bad enough" to get the help and support you need to do that healing. To get out from under it. To get an appointment at the clinic. To get friends to come over with Styrofoam food containers when you can't feed yourself.

   You tell yourself how bad it is and then you numb yourself to how bad it is. You repeat as needed, for so many years."

A Few Quotes from the Book

"If rape culture had a flag, it would be one of those Boob Inspector T-shirts.

 If rape culture had its own cuisine, it would be all this shit you have to swallow.

 If rape culture had a downtown, it would smell like Axe body spray and that perfume they put on tampons to make your vagina smell like laundry detergent.

 If rape culture had an official language, it would be locker-room jokes and an awkward laugh track. Rape culture speaks in every tongue.

 If rape culture had a national sport, it would be...well...something will balls, for sure."

 ~ Aubrey Hirsch

"Sexual violence is a global epidemic that is all around us, yet it is nowhere, precisely because it permeates every facet of our presence in the world, echoing throughout our political and popular cultures, ricocheting off the cement walls that define our boundaries."

 ~ Michelle Chen