Your Blue Is Not My Blue

 Book 44 of my 2020 Reading Challenge

read from June 5 - 11

Your Blue Is Not My Blue: A Missing Person Memoir

by Aspen Matis

Summary (via Goodreads)

published 2020

Aspen’s and Justin’s paths serendipitously aligned on the Pacific Crest Trail when both were walking from Mexico to Canada, separately and alone—both using thru-hiking in hopes of escaping their pasts. Both sought to redefine themselves beneath the stars. By the time they made it to the snowy Cascade Range of British Columbia—the trail’s end—Aspen and Justin were in love.

Embarking on a new pilgrimage the next summer, they returned to those same mossy mountains where they’d met, and they married. They built a world together, three years of a happy marriage. Until a cold November morning, when, after kissing Aspen goodbye, Justin left to attend the funeral of a close friend.

He never came back. As days became weeks, her husband’s inexplicable absence left Aspen unmoored. Shock, grief, fear, and anger battled for control—but nothing prepared her for the disarming truth. A revelation that would lead Aspen to reassess not only her own life but that of the disappeared as well.

The result is a brave and inspiring memoir of secrets kept and unearthed, of a vanishing that became a gift: a woman’s empowering reclamation of unmitigated purpose in the surreal wake of mystifying loss.

My Opinion

4 stars

I read this book through the Amazon First Reads program for Prime members.  I don't know if that needs a disclosure but since I downloaded it for free I wanted to mention it just in case.

I don't read memoirs to judge the actions of the author, only the writing.  It is a testament to her writing style that I was so invested and sympathetic even though her lifestyle and choices were so foreign to me.  It was well-written and not overly self-serving even if she doesn't always realize how lucky she is.

While not judging her life, I did have some issues with the book because of the lack of reflection about the immense privileges she had (financially, mostly) and the justification she gave for her partner's actions.  No matter what she did, he did NOT handle it well and it makes me sad that she wasn't angrier on her own behalf.  There were also times she completely lost me, such as the stealing and not giving his parents info when she knew what it felt like to worry, and some further insight into why would've been helpful.  This was the kind of book where I enjoyed reading about her choices from a distance but would've driven me crazy if I'd known her and watched them happen.    

I want to read the book she referenced working on, although it will be interesting to read it through the lens of knowing how things end.  I would definitely read fiction works by the author if she wrote any because any qualms I had were related to the subject choices and not the writing style.

I hope she's found happiness wherever she landed.