Saturday, December 31, 2016

Girls Like Us

Book 94 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read on December 27

Girls Like Us by Alex Apostol

Summary (via the book jacket)
Do lifelong friendships really last forever?
Hailey and Tries have been best friends since the second grade.  Twenty-one-years later, they are moving from Virginia to California for a fresh start.  Road trips can be tiring, especially when the person you're traveling with is irritating you.  Hailey tries her best to have fun with Triss like they used to, but it gets harder with each passing day.  Some people just don't know when to grow up.  Can their friendship survive everything it's put through on their four day trip?

My Opinion
This light read kept my interest and was perfect for my plane ride.  The time jumps kept things interesting but weren't confusing.  Each snippet was like a memory of their friendship so the book felt like a collection of short stories that have the same characters.

Typically if there are only a few typos I can overlook them.  However, I ended up knocking the book down a star because there were just too many.  The spelling (like 'steeling' for 'stealing' or 'infront' as one word) or wrong word (like 'in' for 'is') feel nitpicky to point out but when it's the wrong character's name in two different places, that affects the story and overall there were just too many mistakes of different varieties to completely ignore.

Quote from the Book
"Neither of them could forget the day they met. It was the beginning to the rest of their lives as far as either was concerned. They couldn't even conceive what their lives would have been like if they had never met that snowy day in the second grade."

Love Warrior

Book 93 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from November 08 - December 26

Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton

Summary (via the book jacket)
Just when Glennon Doyle Melton was beginning to feel she had it all figured out - three happy children, a doting spouse, and a writing career so successful that her first book catapulted to the top of the New York Times bestseller list - her husband revealed his infidelity and she was forced to realize that nothing was as it seemed. A recovering alcoholic and bulimic, Glennon found that rock bottom was a familiar place. In the midst of crisis, she knew to hold on to what she discovered in recovery: that her deepest pain has always held within it an invitation to a richer life.
Love Warrior is the story of one marriage, but it is also the story of the healing that is possible for any of us when we refuse to settle for good enough and begin to face pain and love head-on. This astonishing memoir reveals how our ideals of masculinity and femininity can make it impossible for a man and a woman to truly know one another - and it captures the beauty that unfolds when one couple commits to unlearning everything they've been taught so that they can finally, after thirteen years of marriage, fall in love.
Love Warrior is a gorgeous and inspiring account of how we are born to be warriors: strong, powerful, and brave; able to confront the pain and claim the love that exists for us all. This chronicle of a beautiful, brutal journey speaks to anyone who yearns for deeper, truer relationships and a more abundant, authentic life.

My Opinion
I read this for an online book club group read.  We read a chapter about every 3 days and while I never participated in the discussion (I'm a silent lurker) I enjoyed reading others' views on it.

Here are some of her phrases that made me sit back and think 'wow'.  I wish I didn't relate to some of them as much as I did:


  •  "We had to tell the truth, which was: "Actually, I'm not fine." But no one knew how to handle hearing that truth, so we found other ways to tell it. We used whatever else we could find - drugs, booze, food, money, our arms, other bodies. We acted out our truth instead of speaking it and everything became a godforsaken mess. But we were just trying to be honest."
  • "We begin to understand that to coparent is to one day look up and notice that you are on a roller coaster with another human being.  You are in the same car, strapped down side by side and you can never, ever get off.  There will never be another moment in your lives when your hearts don't rise and fall together, when your minds don't race and panic together, when your stomachs don't churn in tandem, when you stop seeing huge hills emerge in the distance and simultaneously grab the side of the car and hold on tight. No one except for the one strapped down beside you will ever understand the particular thrills and terrors of your ride."
  • "He would not be able to explain that I named that kitten Miracle and that Miracle thought I was his mother.  When I told Craig that story I knew it was important, but he didn't.  He smiled and nodded and then let it slip away.  When I mentioned Miracle months later, Craig said, "Who is Miracle?"  His forgetfulness feels like carelessness, and his carelessness feels like rejection.  What do I do?  Tell Miracle's story again?  Do I say, The story I'm about to tell is important to me.  Please pay attention to me and remember it.  Please keep this piece of me somewhere safe so we can build upon it?  Each day, we're making sandcastles I know will be washed away.  I long for something solid, lasting, strong between us."
  • "But since I am a mother, dramatic gestures are off-limits.  I must be steady.  I must be calm.  I must think about my children, who haven't yet seen the wave that's about to hit.  I must be the steadfast captain of our sinking ship.  I must smile as we go down so everyone can drown peacefully."
  • "We either allow ourselves to feel the burn of our own pain or someone we love gets burned by it.  Craig and I had spent our lives denying our pain, but that did not make is disappear.  Since we refused to hold it, we passed it on to the people we loved."
  • "God created women as a Warrior...While those around them fall away, the women hold the sick and nurse the weak, put food on the table, carry their families' sadness and anger and love and hope.  They keep showing up for their lives and their people with the odds stacked against them and the weight of the world on their shoulders.  They never stop singing songs of truth, love, and redemption in the face of hopelessness.  They are inexhaustible, ferocious, relentless cocreatorrs with God, and they make beautiful worlds out of nothing.  Have women been the Warriors all along?"
This was the first book of hers I've read but it definitely won't be the last.  The reason I gave it 4 stars and not 5 is because I skimmed the last few chapters because it was too hard to read her optimism when I know it ended up not working out for them.

A Few Quotes from the Book
"We know what the world wants from us. We know we must decide whether to stay small, quiet, and uncomplicated or allow ourselves to grow as big, loud, and complex as we were made to be. Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world."

"Any woman who doesn't give a fuck is simply abandoning her soul to adhere to the rules. No woman on earth doesn't give a fuck - no woman is that cool - she's just hidden her fire. Likely, it's burning her up."

"If you don't remember half your life, does it even count? Did you really live it? I pass six more months of my life this way; half alive. Half alive is all the alive I can take."

"While I've been home changing diapers, doing dishes, and feeding our children, he's been sleeping with other women. While I've been begging my body to heal, he's been lying down with other bodies. While I've been apologizing for my inability to connect during sex, he's been connecting with strangers. For years, he let me take all the blame. He let me cry on his shoulder and ask: What is wrong with me? Why can't I feel safe during sex? He patted my head and said he didn't know. He knew. He was the reason."

Never Look an American in the Eye

Book 92 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from November 30 - December 19

Never Look an American in the Eye: A Memoir of Flying Turtles, Colonial Ghosts, and the Making of a Nigerian American by Okey Ndibe

Summary (via the book jacket)
Okey Ndibe's funny, charming, and penetrating memoir tells of his move from Nigeria to America, where he came to edit the influential - but forever teetering on the verge of insolvency - African Commentary magazine. It recounts stories of Ndibe's relationships with China Achebe, Wole Soyinka, and other literary figures; examines the differences between Nigerian and American etiquette and politics; recalls an incident of racial profiling just 13 days after he arrived in the US, in which he was mistaken for a bank robber; considers American stereotypes at Africa (and vice-versa); and juxtaposes African folk tales with Wall Street trickery. All these stories and more come together in a generous, encompassing book about the making of a writer and a new American.

My Opinion
I wasn't sure how to rate this one because I really liked the book but after hearing him speak at the Iowa City Book Festival, where he read a few of these chapters aloud and signed my book, just reading the rest didn't feel like enough.  This would be great to listen to as an audiobook.

It was interesting because he made a note in the book that as time has passed since he was stopped by the police because they were looking for a bank robber and he fit the description (basically, a black man), the tone in how he has told the story changed from dread to humor.  He told that story in the reading I attended and it's true that he made it light and humorous, as he did other events that must have been very difficult at the time.  

Keeping it light doesn't mean he glosses over the struggles.  It's the talent of a true writer to make you think without beating you over the head with the lessons he/she wants you learn, and Okey is a phenomenal writer.  

A Few Quotes from the Book
"The books and journalism I consumed fueled my desire to write. I needed writing badly, needed it to save me from a career in the corporate world that my studies would sentence me to. Bohemian at heart and by habit, I dreaded the prospect of a regular eight-to-five job."

"I sought to draw attention both to the rampancy of power abuse and to the repercussions of silence. Those who shut their eyes in order to see no evil, to denounce none, those who plug their ears and gag their mouths, should be under no illusion. They may delude themselves, but they cannot enter a plea of innocence in history's great carnages, its galleries of gore and horrors."

Mesa of Sorrows

Book 91 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from November 22 - December 07

Mesa of Sorrows: A History of the Awat'ovi Massacre by James F. Brooks

Summary (via Goodreads)
The Hopi community of Awat'ovi existed peacefully on Arizona's Antelope Mesa for generations until one bleak morning in the fall of 1700 - raiders from nearby Hopi villages descended on Awat'ovi, slaughtering their neighboring men, women, and children. While little of the pueblo itself remains, five centuries of history lie beneath the low rises of sandstone masonry, and theories about the events of that night are as persistent as the desert winds. The easternmost town on Antelope Mesa, Awat'ovi was renowned for martial strength, and had been the gateway to the entire Hopi landscape for centuries. Why did kinsmen target it for destruction?
Drawing on oral traditions, archival accounts, and extensive archaeological research, James Brooks unravels the story and its significance. Mesa of Sorrows follows the pattern of an archaeological expedition, uncovering layer after layer of evidence and theories. Brooks questions their reliability and shows how interpretations were shaped by academic, religious and tribal politics. Piecing together three centuries of investigation, he offers insight into why some were spared - women, mostly, and taken captive - and others sacrificed. He weighs theories that the attack was in retribution for Awat'ovi having welcomed Franciscan missionaries or for the residents' practice of sorcery, and argues that a perfect storm of internal and external crises revitalized an ancient cycle of ritual bloodshed and purification.
A haunting account of a shocking massacre, Mesa of Sorrows is a probing exploration of how societies confront painful histories, and why communal violence still plagues us today.

My Opinion
The description of the book, both from reading the summary and listening to the author speak at a reading, didn't match what I actually read.  It's not necessarily a bad thing but it was dryer than I expected after his engaging talk about his research and I didn't get the deeper layers of how this applies to the present day that he alluded to in the summary. 

There were some typos which surprised me since he's a professor, especially with using "there" instead of "their" occasionally.

He mentioned a way people used to determine if a woman was a witch that was new to me.  They would measure her tongue...apparently witches' were shorter than average.

A Few Quotes from the Book
"In the Euro-American mind, history marches from past to present. Each event - birth, death, marriage, divorce, war and peace - accrues in a sequence that shapes the next in knowable ways, although their precise relation may prove elusive. We attend to the past to better comprehend our present. Yet, invert this. What is our present were already active in our past? What if our present is nothing more than a past foretold? This swirl of cause and effect, effect as cause, not linear but cyclical and untethered from western time, more closely captures the way many Hopis understood (and understand) the ruination of Awat'ovi Pueblo."

"The present troubles the ghosts of the past."











Carsick

Book 90 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from November 13 - 21

Carsick by John Waters

Summary (via the book jacket)
John Waters is putting his life on the line. Armed with wit, a pencil-thin mustache, and a cardboard sign that reads I'M NOT PSYCHO, he is hitchhiking across America from Baltimore to San Fransisco, braving lonely roads and treacherous drivers. Before he leaves for this bizarre adventure, Waters fantasizes about the best and worst possible scenarios: a friendly drug dealer hands over piles of cash to finance films with no questions asked; a demolition-derby driver makes a filthy sexual request in the middle of a race; and a Kansas vice squad entraps him and throws him in jail.
So what really happens when this cult legend sticks out his thumb and faces the open road? Hitching across America, Waters rides along with a gentle eighty-one-year-old farmer who is convinced Waters is a hobo; an indie band on tour; and his unexpected hero: a young, sandy-haired Republican in a Corvette.
Laced with subversive humor and warm intelligence, Carsick is an unforgettable vacation with a wickedly funny companion - and a celebration of America's weird, astonishing, and generous citizenry.

My Opinion
The "best case" chapters were great stories but they and the "worst case" chapters took up more of the book I expected and I was ready to move on to what actually happened.  Note: don't eat while reading the "worst" chapters...they were disgusting.

He may be the first hitchhiker ever who had an assistant make his signs.  He didn't sound pretentious when he said it, he just mentioned it as part of getting ready and it made me laugh because it was so unlikely.  I was also surprised he'd never heard of Outback Steakhouses before, I didn't know they were a regional thing.

A Few Quotes from the Book
"Fantasies are like extra cash, they need to be banked for later use."

"He's off and I'm all by myself, the way everybody really is no matter where you are."

Bird

Book 89 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from November 07 - 13

Bird by Crystal Chan

Summary (via the book jacket)
Nothing matters.
Only Bird matters.
And he flew away.

Jewel never knew her brother, Bird, but all her life she has lived in his shadow.
She lives in a house drenched in silence.
Filled with secrets.
Then one night, a boy in a tree changes everything...

My Opinion
My friends and I went to this author's reading at the Iowa City Book Festival which means we got to hear the SUPER SECRET ZOMBIE ENDING that isn't online anywhere.  That was definitely memorable.

Her descriptions were vivid and unique, such as when she said "The tension in the air suddenly grew so thick we didn't need tree limbs to sit on anymore, we could have sat on one of those words that just crawled out and got huge".

I will definitely pass this YA read on to my kids.

A Few Quotes from the Book
"Grandpa stopped speaking the day he killed my brother, John."

"If you give up too much of yourself, too fast, then someone can just up and take it away. And a person like me, without too much of my own to start with - well, you need to be careful with what you got."

A Star for Mrs. Blake

Book 88 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from October 28 - November 7

A Star for Mrs. Blake by April Smith

Summary (via the book jacket)
Cora Blake never dreamed she'd go to Paris. She's hardly ever left the small fishing village where she grew up. Yet in the summer of 1931, courtesy of the U.S. government, she joins hundreds of other Gold Star Mothers traveling to France to say a final goodbye to their fallen sons, American casualties of World War I who were buried overseas.
Chaperoned by a dashing West Point officer, Cora's group includes the wife of an immigrant chicken farmer; a housemaid; a socialite; a former tennis star in precarious mental health; and dozens of other women from all over the country. Along the way, the women will forge lifelong friendships as they face a death, a scandal, and a secret revealed.

My Opinion
The book is fictional but the author explains the real program for Gold Star Mothers it was based on.  I wasn't familiar with it before but I thought it was a very nice thing to do for the mothers/families.

Will this whole "which Mrs. Russell" subplot end up being necessary?  At first it just added confusion.  And once it was settled, I missed the first Mrs. Russell we met; she was a great character and I feel it was a missed opportunity for a different perspective not to follow her journey

A Few Quotes from the Book
"The blue star symbolized hope and pride, one star for every family member in military service...Then one day they accepted the lonely task of replacing the blue star with one of gold. Gold meant sacrifice to the cause of liberty and freedom. It meant they were now Gold Star Mothers. They hadn't asked for this, nor did they have any say in how it happened, but they had been given to bear the most violent and dark cost of the nation's war."

"He believed in his country and his superiors, and that President Wilson had been correct when he said, "The world must be made safe for democracy - the right is more precious than peace," so when [the mothers] settled down, he assumed his military posture in the front of the bus, and bravely met the expectations of the mothers in his care. His duty was to represent the army, not to rewrite history. But he could show it to them in a more gentle light."