Widowish

 Book 24 of my 2021 Reading Challenge

Widowish

by Melissa Gould

Summary (via Goodreads)

published 2021

When Melissa Gould's husband, Joel, was unexpectedly hospitalized, she could not imagine how her life was about to change. Overwhelmed as his condition tragically worsened, she had to believe that while Joel’s loss was permanent, so was their love.
Left to raise their young daughter on her own, and to act as if she could resume life without her beloved husband by her side, Melissa found that she didn’t fit the typical idea of widowhood or meet the expectations of mourning. She didn’t look like a widow or act like a widow, but she felt like one. Melissa was widowish.
Melissa’s personal journey through grief and beyond includes unlikely inspiration from an evangelical preacher, the calming presence of some Real Housewives, and the unexpected attention of a charismatic musician.
A modern take on loss, Widowish illuminates the twists of fate that break our world, the determination that keeps us moving forward, and the surprises in life we never see coming.

First Impressions/Judging a Book by Its Cover

I chose this book from the options in the Amazon First Reads monthly freebies.  When I'm picking books blindly I tend to gravitate toward memoirs/biographies and that was the case here. 

I deliberately don't look for extra information beforehand and only go off of what the book provides so as an electronic copy with a brief description, I don't have much of an impression.  I'm sure it will be sad so it's strange to say I'm looking forward to reading this but it has the potential to be a life story I'll be drawn into and I want to hear it.

My Opinion

3 stars

Well...shit.  Remember how I said above that I didn't have any idea what it was about? Turns out her husband, who had MS, died unexpectedly after contracting a virus.  As I read this we are a year into the pandemic where we've worked so hard to protect my mom, who has MS, from Covid.  So I definitely took a moment to decide if this was going to be too much to continue reading.  I decided to continue reading it and it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be but it definitely hit me more because of those connections.

I can tell the author has a history of writing.  She was very open about what helped her while also making good points about how grief is personal -- what she found beneficial was not necessarily the same as her daughter but she recognized that and gave her space to heal in her own way.

Quote from the Book

 "We were coming up on Joel's third week in the hospital. Almost twenty-one days. They say it takes twenty-one days to start or break a habit.

  The habit that seemed to be taking shape was a life without Joel.

   I cried myself to sleep in the same clothes I had been wearing all day."