I Love You but I've Chosen Darkness

Book 25 of my 2023 Reading Challenge

read from Feb. 18 - March 7

I Love You but I've Chosen Darkness

by Claire Vaye Watkins

Summary (via Goodreads)

Since my baby was born, I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things. a) As much as I ever did. b) Not quite as much now. c) Not so much now. d) Not at all. Leaving behind her husband and their baby daughter, a writer gets on a flight for a speaking engagement in Reno, not carrying much besides a breast pump and a spiraling case of postpartum depression. Her temporary escape from domestic duties and an opportunity to reconnect with old friends mutates into an extended romp away from the confines of marriage and motherhood, and a seemingly bottomless descent into the past. Deep in the Mojave Desert where she grew up, she meets her ghosts at every turn: the first love whose self-destruction still haunts her; her father, a member of the most famous cult in American history; her mother, whose native spark gutters with every passing year. She can't go back in time to make any of it right, but what exactly is her way forward? Alone in the wilderness, at last she begins to make herself at home in the world.

My Opinion

2 stars

Great title.  When I saw a review of this in our local newspaper it was described as a "dark and frankly funny work of auto fiction".  I made a note of it because I had no idea what that meant; however, even after reading it I still have no idea.

I felt like the book was an inside joke I wasn't part of.  Not that the material itself was a joke but I had that feeling of "I have no idea what's going on but I feel like everyone else does."  It's a book of fiction (and I hope so because the main character was really reckless) yet it uses the author's name and the author's father appears to be very similar to the character's father.

Basically, I could talk in circles but I have nothing to say.  It's not a 1 star review because I was interested in reading it but I also personally can't give it more than 2 because I read the whole time with my eyebrows furrowed because I was lost.