Monday, December 19, 2016

Sweet Valley Confidential

Book 46 of my 2016 Reading Challenge
read from May 25 - 27

Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later by Francine Pascal

Summary (via the book jacket)
Ten years after Sweet Valley High, the Wakefield twins have had a falling-out of epic proportions. When Jessica commits a complete and utter betrayal, Elizabeth flees to New York to escape the pain. Jessica remains in California, dealing with the fallout of her heart-wrenching choices. But with Elizabeth as her enemy, Sweet Valley is no longer the idyllic town of their youth.
Elizabeth soon decides the only way to heal her broken heart is to get revenge for Jessica's duplicity. Always the "good" twin, Elizabeth is about to turn the tables...
Francine Pascal finally unfolds the continuing story of Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield - and the whole gang of Sweet Valley - that will delight and surprise the millions of fans of these beloved characters.

My Opinion
Rage review.  One star.  I don't even know if I can form complete sentences and I don't care, I'm writing this book off the minute I finish the review and don't care how it turned out.

I would be angry with the book and the premise no matter what because it's sleazy.  But the fact that the author thought she should milk the popularity of the Sweet Valley series by portraying them as adults, only to shit on the fans by putting out this nonsense, is absolutely ridiculous.

As we begin, Jessica and Elizabeth aren't speaking.  That happened throughout the series...Jessica would do something, Elizabeth would get upset, Jessica would pull her "But Lizzie" stuff, and all would be forgiven.
But this isn't an oopsie.  Elizabeth and Todd were engaged, Jessica and Todd had an affair and discovered they loved each other, they got caught, and now Jessica and Todd are getting married and Jessica's upset Elizabeth's not answering her calls or coming to the wedding (not a spoiler because this is revealed early in the book).  Fucking really???
Also, Jessica and Todd still live in Sweet Valley and the author tries to drum up sympathy for Jessica because everyone is judging her and it's just so hard because all they did was fall in love.  Ummm...nope. Not even a little bit.

And if that wasn't enough, Jessica also takes it upon herself to "help" her brother Steven by telling his wife that he's actually gay?  Nope.

But it's all okay because Elizabeth finds Will, a doppelgänger for Todd, who helps her get over everything and then she comes back to Sweet Valley in time to fall in love with Bruce Patman, forgive her sister and Todd, and attend the wedding.

The writing is atrocious, the plot is ridiculous, and I feel dumber after reading it.  The End.

A Few Quotes from the Book
"[Elizabeth] still hadn't found the perfect revenge.
  But she would."

"Instincts could be good and, often, useful; they could even save your life. And clear thinking could be wise, but nothing can stand up to the power of that uncontrollable tornado that sweeps out everything in its path. Nothing matched the power of love."

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